Look around you. If you are in your 50s or 60s, you and many of your friends are likely still active and relatively healthy. You meet for lunch, you shop, you cook or you go out for a meal, you take vacations, you go to the gym or yoga studio, and you go to the doctor occasionally.
But eventually something called senescence happens. Senescence is the process of aging, the gradual wearing out of our bodies and minds. It happens to everyone and it will happen to baby boomers just like it is happening to our parents. In fact, in less obvious ways senescence starts happening when we are in our late 20s.
For the most part, we accept these changes as inevitable. Gradually, our muscles begin to lose girth, our skin starts to lose elasticity, and our joints begin to lose cartilage. Most people don’t notice this decline until their late 40s and early 50s, at which time the changes become more obvious.
Our 80s and 90s will look different
The 60s and 70s are a time for discovery and reinvention. Most people make a shift in their lifestyle in those decades. For those with children it is often a time of celebrating their accomplishments and the arrival of grandchildren. For those without children—a group that I call Solo Agers—discovery and reinvention should involve serious planning for an older life. (Of course, people with children still have to plan for their older years and can certainly benefit from these suggestions, but their options may be different than those without children.)
In our 80s and 90s we almost always face more life-limiting challenges. The big question is how do we prepare for it today? With no adult children around to serve as a safety net, the sensible path for us is to make some decisions while our bodies are still functioning adequately and our brains are still sharp.
After the age of 85, the likelihood of needing assistance with one or more activities of daily living, or ADLs, increases dramatically. In a 2009 study by the Institute on Aging, 40% of men and 53% of women age 85 or over reported needing help with at least one of the basic self-care tasks essential to maintaining grooming standards and good health.
These ADLs and IADLs (instrumental activities for daily living) are the functions that, for many, become more challenging as we age due to lack of mobility, strength, balance, or other physical or mental infirmities. They are the reason for the existence of structured communities with trained staff.
Yes, we all know someone in their 90s who still lives alone without apparent difficulty, and we all want to follow in his or her footsteps. But they are the outliers, not the norm. Will you be among them? No one knows. People of any age may temporarily or permanently lose the ability to care for themselves, but the odds go up dramatically as we get older.
By the year 2050, the over-85 age group will triple as a percentage of the population. That statistic raises another specter we must face: medical science has been tracking and studying the incidence of Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia for several decades now. They estimate close to one-third of those who reach age 85 will experience some level of dementia.
Planning essentials
Below are the important elements of planning for your oldest age. To do it properly means getting out and doing some research. If you never need the plan, great. But if you take a tumble, have a medical event (heart attack, stroke), or begin to experience beyond-normal confusion, you will have the plan in place and you can put yourself safely in the hands of others.
1. Investigate long-term care insurance. Long-term care insurance, or LTCI, can be an important component of planning for people without children, but there are other options if you are not able to afford it or don’t qualify for it. Like life insurance, the younger you are when you purchase LTCI, the less it costs. Consulting with a financial planner will help you determine whether you should make this investment.
2. Research assisted living communities and board and care homes in your area. You will find they differ dramatically one from another. Have a conversation with their marketing people, but also talk to residents and people who work there. You will very likely find some appeal to you more than others. Remember, the default action by hospitals and doctors when you need care at home and no one is there to help you is to send you to a skilled nursing facility.
3. Investigate continuous care retirement communities (CCRCs) and life-care communities. These are wonderful living options for people without family support systems. They are also the most expensive options with amenities beyond what you would find in an assisted living community. However, you must move in while you are still independent.
4. Create or update your will, your advance directive for medical care, and durable power of attorney for finances. You will need a lawyer who specializes in elder law or estate planning for this. Lower cost professionals can often be found through your local Area Agency on Aging or Council on Aging. You can also explore with the attorney whether you should create a trust.
5. Hire a professional. If you have no extended family that you trust to make good decisions for you and follow your directives, consider hiring a professional fiduciary or professional guardian. They charge by the hour and they are much less expensive than a lawyer. Interview several and pick one you like and who has a good reputation.
6. Pre-need arrangements. Purchase a burial plot or register with the Neptune Society or other cremation service.
7. Spread the word. Once you have made some choices about where you would like to receive care and how you would like to spend the rest of your life, don’t keep it a secret. Share your plan with your doctors, your friends, and any living relatives that will likely be called in an emergency. When people know what you want it will be much easier for them to make decisions for you and ensure that you will get the care you need.
Sara Zeff Geber, Ph.D., is a speaker, author, retirement coach, and the founder of LifeEncore. Sara has a special interest in a group she calls Solo Agers: people over 50 without children and those aging alone. She is most recently the author of “Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Child-free Adults”. Geber lives with her husband in Santa Rosa, Calif.
