Single, financially savvy, unattached and with plenty of money to spare.
It sounds like an enviable position, but according to a recent Reddit thread, it can actually pose some challenges in the dating world.
A writer on Reddit by the name of “minimalistmillennial,” who described herself as a 24-year-old woman with a $50,000 net worth, said she has concerns about dating while she pursues financial independence and early retirement.
That concept, which typically means someone is trying to live completely off savings and investments without having to rely on a paycheck, is often abbreviated to “FIRE.”
She is now finishing her master’s degree, she wrote, and expects to make about $100,000 when she graduates.
Her goal: to retire between the ages of 35 and 40, with $1.5 million to $2 million saved.
To do that, she plans to move to an area with a low cost of living, where a “safe withdrawal rate” of $35,000 to $40,000 will give her a high quality of life.
“I’d like to buy a small house, get a cat, teach Pilates classes 2-3x a week, travel a few times a year, and maybe get a social work or education certificate at a community college to do some really rewarding part-time work,” she said. “My biggest concern is that I am going to have to do this alone.”
To be sure, this is a risky strategy, and several other commenters on Reddit pointed out that $2 million may not be enough to support the rest of her life, if unexpected circumstances like health scares or market downturns happen.
She doesn’t want children, she said, nor luxury items like nice cars or big houses.
“I fear that I am so odd and particular with my dreams that finding a partner will be impossible,” she said.
Soon, her post had hundreds of comments.
One commenter, “EJK1199,” said she is a 33-year-old woman and could relate. She also had no interest in children or big houses, she said.
“It took a long time but I found someone who wants the same things, isn’t a huge spender, and also isn’t intimidated by a woman who makes good money,” she said. “They’re out there. Go into any dating or relationship with pure honesty about what you want.”
Another commenter asked EJK1199 how she finally met her partner.
“Online dating actually,” she said. “I’ve had my share of horrible/hilarious dates but I definitely got lucky.”
After that, another commenter, “throwaway-notthrown,” said she met her “financially savvy” husband while traveling.
“I’ve never specifically talked with him about FIRE but our goals are to save as much money as possible at all times, we are frugal, we don’t want children, and we both are minimalists,” she said.
“You’ll find someone who’s into FIRE,” another commenter said. “Just be yourself … but if you meet someone you realize, ‘This person seems to live below their means and has similar thoughts/dreams … they might be the one.’”
Others reminded the original poster she is young and has time.
“Don’t try to plan your entire life,” one said. “Some things just happen in the right moment.”
Plus, it’s not impossible to teach someone about FIRE after meeting them, if that’s what you want, another said.
A commenter “Sabshier” said she and her husband have been married for eight years, after meeting on eHarmony. MTCH, +2.47%
“At the time neither of us knew about FIRE. However, we are both extremely frugal, tended to invest heavily and apparently have cheap hobbies,” she wrote. “I honestly believe we were both truthful with the questions that were posed and therefore became a perfect ‘firey’ match.”
The original poster isn’t alone in wanting to find a partner who aligns with her financial values.
Some 56% of Americans say they want a partner who provides financial security more than “head over heels” love (44%), according to a survey released by Merrill Edge, an online discount brokerage and division of Bank of America Merrill Lynch.
And some 59% of couples cite financial problems as playing “somewhat” of a role in their divorce, a 2017 study from Experian EXPN, +2.45% found. Another 20% said financial problems played a “big” role in the divorce, and 26% said their spouse’s credit score specifically was a source of stress in the marriage.
If you are waiting to discuss finances until after you’re married, you have waited too long, experts say.
As for the original poster, she may have inadvertently started a business idea.
“A FIRE dating app would be a great idea,” one commenter said. “Except no FIRE people would ever pay for it.”
